Mommy-Do Syndrome

Mommy do this, mommy do that. Mommy make me breakfast, Mommy make me lunch, Mommy make me dinner, Mommy help me with my homework, Mommy get daddy off to work...ugh! It's exhausting just writing it.  It's time to learn to take your own space and do something for you!

As a Fitness Trainer this is THE most common thread amongst my mommies that I hear.  It's interesting because, we as women by nature are doers, we are caretakers, but we don't take that much time to "take care" of our needs. And if we do, it’s often associated with so much guilt, that we don't really enjoy what we are doing anyway...

I know a woman who has 2 teenage girls in private school who needs to lose weight and refocus as she is always spinning with worry about her family. It's sabotaging her so-called life. I get frustrated that she can’t find her own space yet.  I think WHY is it that men can so easily take their own space.  "Honey, baseball is on Sundays.” “Honey, I just joined a bowling team on Thursdays.” At 6 am they are out that door off to the gym. There they go, and here we are… They go and enjoy themselves.  They don't call a million times, and when they come back, they are refreshed, calm and are able to deal with their responsibilities.

Hate to say it gals, but we can learn a thing or two from this. Your ultimate goal is to feel good right? You want to demonstrate a good positive attitude for your children? We want to have patience, enjoy the simple pleasures in life, lead by example, but how can we take care of everyone else, but not take the time to work on ourselves?  What it boils down to is this-- there will be a breaking point. What will happen is that everything can backfire and you can become miserable, resentful or unhappy. You might be disappointed with your appearance, have lackluster energy and people will vibe on it. So why wait for that? Dedicate one hour a day for mommy time.

Just you and the outdoors, expanding your strengths, learning new challenges, exploring what your body can really do and think about it, if you endured labor, a couple of push-ups or sets of stairs will be a breeze... You deserve it. Nothing can replace the feeling of feeling strong. The fact is having a family does NOT mean you have to sacrifice all to be a good parent. That's old school and non-applicable today.

Also, whether it is shallow or not, socially acceptable or not, sexist or not, when we look good, we feel good, tons of studies have proven this throughout many years. If you’re like me, you have to work on your body, it doesn't come naturally, BUT the reward is like no other. Isn’t there a sense of girlish pride when you strut your kid down the street and heads turn? Wouldn’t it be incredible if you could run 50 yard dashes with your kid, staying right behind him every step of the way... Take the time to get out and produce energy, everything else will fall into place.  I promise you, nothing will fall apart if you take a moment for yourself.

About the Author: Christine Lusita , is a Certifed Personal Trainer & Nutritionist in the westside of Los Angeles for more info you can visit her on www.zenpenfitness.com.

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Ask The Expert

Q: I am so busy with my kids schedule, I can’t seem to make any time in to exercise, especially an efficient workout. Can you please help?

A: Gladly! We certainly don't need a gym to get an efficient workout!  An efficient workout would be targeting the front & back of each muscle group for balance in the body, using multi muscle groups at a time, (as we do in life), create the movements in our exercise that we do in our day to day routines, (which is called functional training) and lastly maximize our time. (Love that one)!! It's a lot to think about at first but we are of the modern day mom! We as moms get more efficient with juggling, prioritize & re-prioritize on a daily basis. It's what we do.  So, a few helpful hints for people struggling with finding the time to exercise…

1. Pushups (my favorite exercise). We can do many versions of pushups where ever we are. If we are in the park we can do them on the ground, if we are in a parking lot waiting for our children to come out of school, we can use the car to "push" off of, or we can do them against a wall...

2. We can do lunging in the parking lot, or lunge as we go back & forth to our car from a normal daily errand.

3. We can do squats wherever we are...outside, inside, I do them in the bathroom at the airport because my husband takes me get there so darn early, so I figure why not use it to my benefit.

4. You can use your children's book bag to do biceps curls & triceps extension while waiting for them to finish their after school lessons, etc (with homework these days, this bag will be a huge challenge)

5. You can park your car further away & do fast walking or sprints

6. You can do calf raises while cooking dinner, you can stand on one leg & practice balance while brushing your teeth

7. You can stretch your quads & hamstrings while waiting in line at the grocery store!!

There is always plan B. When there is a will, there is a way. You can always optimize your time if you set your mind to it.  Keep some sneakers; lose clothing & water in your car at all times.